|
I am a wonderful reader of the blind dates that one of the local newspapers in Uganda arranges. In one of those blind dates, a mysterious couple met and seemed to have liked each other but the lady (herein referred to as Belinda) was a bit disappointed at how the man (later referred to as Mike) had treated her. That she expected the man to welcome her warmly with a hug or a peck if need be, followed by pulling the chair for her before she relaxes her bones.
In her eyes, the man was no ‘gentleman’ because he had failed her criteria of ‘gentlemen’. After reading the events that took place at that mysterious date, I wondered why women cry for women empowerment and call for equal opportunities.
I cannot hesitate to say that in this era of numerous calls for women empowerment and equal opportunities, women are terribly living double standards. But let’s see what women ask for when they call for women empowerment and lament for equal opportunities. Basically, they are calling on their male counterparts to give them space to participate freely in the political fields, economic arenas (including job opportunities), enjoy equal social and education prospects and many more.
For this writing, let’s look at what happens in the social fields. If for example Mike had arrived after Jane, am confident that Jane would not have dared to pull the chair for Mike and he would not have even mentioned what Jane had not done. I am also sure that if the dinner was not sponsored, Jane would have been very confident that Mike would pay regardless of how huge the bill could have been. But I seek to ask how women shall realize equal opportunities when they invite themselves into positions that put them second.
Most definitely, if a man pays your meals every time you go outing and takes care of your shopping, he will expect you to bow down for him when he enters and be silent when he barks. I have heard some of my friends complain of how men do not get the car door for them even when one is still searching for the car keys!! And they add in a disappointed tone that ‘he is not a gentleman’. To be honest, I have not heard men complain that a woman is less a lady simply because she did not open the car door or better still, get the door to the cinema or restaurant.
Some readers may wonder whether I am a feminist, male chauvinist or both. Well am none of the above – I just follow the pattern that makes all of us comfortable. However, I would expect to foot the bill today if my partner took care of it yesterday – of course, I only do that when am in a position to. I definitely will open the door to the restaurant and walk in first. Since my comrade will be following me, I suspect that he will have entered by the time the door closes. This way, when my comrade barks, I can bite or better yet, request that we lower our tones and solve the matter amicably. Tell me if you will see me in the streets shouting for equal opportunities! |
