WHERE WERE YOU, WHEN GUYS USED TO WRITE LETTERS WITH DICTIONARIES








If you never received letters like these, you know nothing



Classic...

Dear Sugar
Time and ability plus double capacity has forced my pen to dance
automatically on this benedicted sheet of paper. Why this miraculous
thing happened is because honey I love you spontaneously and as I stand
horizontal to the wall and perpendicular to the ground I only think of
you, since you are a fantastic and fabulous girl. Darling please Stop
haranguing with the feelings in my heart because I love you more than a
snake loves rat. To me each day starts by thinking of you and ends by
dreaming of you. Each time I see you my metabolism suddenly stops and my
peristalsis goes in reverse gear. My medular-oblangata also stops
functioning.
Crazy crazy crazy you may say but this is true. If only you knew what is
going on in my encephalon you would understand. That's why I need to see
you face to face with you, soon. I think I have to pen-off here because
I still haven't finished studying electrolysis and polymerization. Catch
you later. Sleep tight and don't let those bed bugs bite you coz you are
too sweet a thing for them.
Yourz Ever,

REPLY
Dear Honie
My Love, My Sugar, I was exasperated with pride to have received one
from you, the lungs in my body flapped with joy when I have been reading
your letter. Anyway by now you have reached the realisations to why I am
jotting this small letter to you, yes it is to see if you are keeping
with the sands of time.
How is everything on that other side of yours? Well here everything is
just half lemon half sugar to make it Schweppes. How is your schooling?
How are you pulling the wagons of life? I am just pulling the schooling
thing like a donkey pulling a cart.

My honie, I am missing you very much right now, my heart is
perambulating with every word that I write, if it was not for these
oceans that decided to flow between us then I would get on the next bus
to come and see you, but until then I know that I will not hesitate to
put this blue blood on this paper and write to you. I remember that day
lovie, that one sweet day as Maria Carey sanged it, you know that it is
my favourite song honie. The one day that we were boarding the transport
and you escorted me to my home, walking with you just brought sweet
dreams to me for the rest of my life honie.

If words of love could ride a bicycle I would be competing against
mariah carey Anyways, I will not stop you from reading the books that
give you life and education so I will stop here for today.
Please always be writing to me because I am missing you like sugar
misses tea.

Keep well my mop of my heart, Yours in flesh and in blood.


______________________________

WHEN it comes to picking the perfect partner, Michelle Obama can boast
her instincts are spot on. In an interview in the latest issue of
Glamour magazine, Michelle shares her rules for finding Mr Right.

For starters, looks aren't everything. 'Cute's good,' she said. 'But
cute only lasts for so long and then it's "Who are you as a person?"'

Michelle also warned women not to be swayed by how much money a man has.
Instead, she said, it is more important to see how he treats his mother.


'Don't look at the bank book or the title,' she added. 'Look at the
heart. Look at the soul. 'Look at what he says about women. How he acts
with children he doesn't know. And more important, how does he treat
you?'

Michelle, who has been married to President Barack Obama for 17 years,
said she always knew he was perfect for her. 'He was always special. And
not special like, he's gonna be important. He was special in terms of
his honesty, his sincerity and his compassion for other people. When
you're dating a man you should feel good. You should never doubt
yourself.

'You shouldn't be in a relationship with somebody who doesn't make you
happy. 'And if you're in that relationship and you're dating, don't get
married. Get out of it. And find that person who brings you utter joy
with who you are at the moment.'

Adapted from
www.dailymail.co.uk

ate enno e baluwa ogilabba otya gwe ?

this how this one see th


TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:

I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you
didn’t get more than you did:
5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat
36 times you did not come home at all
21 times you didn’t cum
33 times you came too soon
19 times you went soft before you got in
38 times you worked too late
10 times you got cramps in your toes
29 times you had to get up early to play golf
2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls
4 times you got it stuck in your zipper
3 times you had a cold and your nose was running
2 times you had a splinter in your finger
20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day
6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book
98 times you were too busy watching TV
Of the times we did together:
The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the sheets.
I wasn’t talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was, “would you prefer me on
my back or kneeling?’’
The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to breathe.

things.

reply

TO MY DEAR WIFE
During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times.
Ihave succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days.
The following is a list of whY I did not succeed more often:
54 times the sheets were clean
1 time it was too late
49 times, you were too tired
20 times it was too hot
15 times you pretended to be asleep
22 times you had headachè
17 times you were afraidof waking the baby
16 times you said you were too
12 times it was the wrong time of the month
19 times you had to wake up early
9 times you said weren`t in mood
7 times youwere Sunburned
6 times you were watching the late show
5 you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo
3 times you say the neighbor would hear us
9 times you said your mom would hear us
Of the 36 times , I did succeed. the activity was not satisfactory becouse;
6 times you just lay there.
8times you reminded me there's a crackin the ceilling
4times you told me to harry up and get it over with
7 times i had to wakeyou and tell you I finished
1 time Iwas afraid i hurt you becouse i felt you move.